Hobbies and habits

A little over a decade ago I worked at a large sports camp that would bring kids in for a whole month. They were the most amazing camp facilities I've ever seen, before or since. The money flowing into that place allows them to have access to the best of the best. And the time spent together allowed us counselors to really pour into the campers. It also left some of the campers feeling (probably rightly so) that their rich parents didn't want them around for the summer so had shipped them off to residential camp. I only know of one Person who can rightly judge the thoughts and intentions of people's hearts, though, and that's not me so I won't try. As for the camp, the stated philosophy behind bringing kids in for a month was that it takes 3 weeks to break an old habit and 1 week to form a new one. Do you think that's true?

Perhaps. At any rate, I have just passed the 4 week mark of living in my new home. I think I actually had many more than 3 weeks to break old habits as we were wanderers for all of June and most of July. But let's just pretend not. I was thinking of this camp's theory a week ago when I started seriously considering what new habits I wanted to put in place in this next stage of life. And, because I am in a privileged state of being able to choose and not spend all my time gathering food or hauling water, essentially choosing what new hobbies would become those habits.

I asked a friend of mine and she said 'you used to crochet'. Ah, yes. I did. I tried that a few years ago...the bag of yarn and hooks saw my actual use for maybe an hour and the side of the couch for a few weeks. Obviously not so interested. I also used to embroider, thanks to my Mom who taught all of her children how to sew. I tried that a few years ago, too. I have no idea where those two pillowcases with the blue flowers partially embroidered on are, but they didn't make the car-ride west. No, I think my hand-held bedding making is done for the time being.

I used to play viola. I auditioned for a community orchestra before I left my last town and after being accepted realized I didn't really want to play. In fact, I rarely really loved to play viola; it always felt like the instrument that was the afterthought and the section that no one expected much of. I loved playing with an orchestra, or with a quartet, because I love playing with the team and not so much because I loved the viola. It's a great instrument to choose because if you're even half-good, you'll always be able to play. But I realized I didn't want to any more. So I sold my viola. I learned to play basic chord progressions on the guitar in college, but it was hard to stay motivated to keep learning and the interest grew stale when not surrounded by lots of people who wanted to have Kumbaya sessions. I sold it too.

Reading. Now there's a great hobby! But I'm about to start graduate school and am trying to find non-reading activities to enjoy, knowing that my reading capacity is going to be maxed out very soon. Actually, I think this whole hobby-finding thing will be very short-lived as my life fills up with other responsibilities. And that's exactly why I've spent the last week intentionally thinking through how to spend that valuable commodity I call hobby-time. I've decided that if I choose hobbies that matter, I should make them habits. If the hobbies aren't important enough to matter, then I don't want to do them. Time is too precious. And so, at the end of the week of reflection, I've settled on three hobbies to make habits: giving the music inside me a voice on the piano with periodic recitals for my husband, physical exercise with tangible goals and races, and spiritual exploration and discussion with honest seekers.

I know a lot of people choose kids at my life stage as their new and lasting habitual hobby...but wouldn't you rather play the piano without having a kid pounding on the F#, go for a long bike ride with your best friend at any given hour, and have deep discussions for longer than 2-3 minutes at a time? In fact, this would be a great time to weigh in on why, exactly, people decide to have children at all. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I just like being able to walk away. I have a theory that people want to be primary care givers of kids for 18+ years because they are bored and don't have other hobbies they enjoy, or they didn't change enough diapers in their formative years, or its like putting away savings and part of their retirement plan, or they fell asleep in their high school health class <devious chuckle>.